Clothes, blah, blah..!!

I need new clothes!! I really do, I so want to get a whole new wardrobe for me!!!! Gosh, me and my mother in law along with baby Summer went to the outlets last night. We just walked around and I just sort of just wanted to window shopped. So that's what I was doing. I saw so many nice clothes and CUTE ones too that I totally want, but with the lack of money and still WANTING to be thinner just held me away. I really don't want to buy any clothes til I have reached my fitness goal, but then I do want new clothes for the holidays as well. Summer got a pair of new clothes from my mother in law yesterday. It will totally keep her warm this winter. I saw some warm clothing for her as well...I'm going to go buy her at least 3 outfits for the winter. :D

Anyways, we had our Thanksgiving yesterday after church. I thought we weren't going to have one this year, but I guess my mother in law wanted to have one still so we had it yesterday. Gosh...only once per year do we eat turkey? Hahahaha...I think it's odd, but gosh the food was DELICIOUS I must say! Haha. We ate a lot yesterday and still have a few leftovers...might go and eat some more today, but we'll see about that. :P

So about heading up north this Christmas, not sure yet. Aplaham has to work that Saturday and so...not so sure anymore. I do want to see my family as well..but then again...no. Lols...hahahhaha. I just want to go to Fresno New Years...and see other ppl as well. Not sure what we are going to do yet, but I hope that everyone will be happy with our decision. Most of the family is heading out Christmas morning at 1am...while my father in law will be heading out that Saturday early morning. We could just go with my father in law, yet I still want to leave earlier and see my family. BUT we won't have enough funds for that too..sigh..so damn hard! We'll see...gotta talk to the husband more about it.

Housewarming party!!

It's the day! Today is the Housewarming party for the young couples!! I'm yet excited, but all at once my room is not READY! Lols. But i don't want to spend money because we may need it for something else...so trying not to spend any money. It's ok...we can slowly decorate our room..and be sure it's ready when Abel and Yer do the OPEN HOUSE! Yup..haha.

I don't know what to cook, but we have shrimp and I bought alfredo last night...so maybe I might cook some fried shrimp, if not chicken alfredo. Aplaham didn't help me by suggesting anything to cook..lols. He's always like that when it comes to things like this. I was thinking about ordering...but still thinking about it.

Anyways, I feel special..haha. Why? I'm the girl that my husband poured his love onto. His longest relationship was only 5 months. I'm the girl he's been with the longest dating wise. He got to do so many things with me than his other girls. Lols...I know...I'm selfish. Makes me feel special and loved. I used to think that maybe he would miss his ex's, but naw he doesn't. I asked him is there anything that they have I don't have. He just replied they are just thinner than me. Lols...well, of course I've gained weight since I married him. But now that means, I have to be hotter and sexier than them. In order to beat them...that's the only thing I need to accomplish. I am his everything...and I WANT to be his everything.

Hee-Hee!

Let's work out!!

I found this great fitness trainer on youtube..and went to her website! I'm so thrilled that I finally found videos to work out with that I love! I have been wanting to transform my body, but I haven't found the right videos and/or trainer. I think God has been hearing me procrastinate about working out and he wanted to help out. Thanks God! :D The lady is so beautiful as well!! Gosh I love her rock hard body!! I admire her a lot now...she's my role model for getting in shape! It's going to be a tough road, but I'm willing to face the challenge. I'm going to be doing her workout for beginners (cause I haven't worked out in years) and her Abs torture workout because I want to eliminate my tummy!! Hehe. I'm going to go buy some dumbells this weekend and start working out every morning at 6am or 7am. I'm going to do that Monday through Saturday. Sunday will be like my rest day where I just relax. Also I want to change my diet, but not sure how yet. I know I am going to do 5-6 smalls portions of food throughout the day. I need to start drinking more milk/water and eat more fruits. I have to go buy water bottles too for my workouts. I'll get everything ready and set to go for Monday when I start. I'll keep my progress here and take pics if possible. I want a fit body by Summer of next year. Hahaha...

I'll start a new blog section for this so it won't get mixed in with my everyday blogs.

It's December!!

It's now that time of the year again! It's December...Christmas season!! My favorite holiday of the year...cause I get to go shopping and buy gifts! I love doing it and have so much fun as well!! And you burn lots of calories..walking..hehe.

Anyways..I'm not so sure what to get everyone this year..but I'll manage it like every year.

Ok...well, Abel and Yer are going to be having a pre open house/house warming party next week and it'll be much fun! It's going to be like a potluck kind of thing..not sure what I want to make/buy yet..hehe..I'm still thinking about it. Yer asked me to look at games, but I haven't even started..lols...I forgot. I hope it'll be a good night where all of us just smile and laugh! There will be some alcohol as well..haha...I haven't drank in awhile.

Well, Aplaham gets his first official check from Oreilly tomorrow!! :D

Happy Shopping everyone!

Thanksgiving!!

We didn't have a Thanksgiving feast last night...not sure why, but looks like no one is interested in actually preparing one. I wanted a Thanksgiving dinner with the family, but Aplaham and I were stuck at the Hmong New Years selling food to the guests that we couldn't prepare it. I really want some turkey with mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, salad, macaroni salad, baked ham..etc. Maybe I'll just prepare us a Thanksgiving dinner sometime next week. I'll go buy a small turkey for just us 3...have a little Thanksgiving for our little family and say what we are thankful for.

2 days ago, I said that I was going to blog about what I am thankful for this year...well, here goes:

I'm thankful for giving birth to a wonderful, healthy baby girl. I'm thankful for the smooth delivery of her. I'm thankful for have great supporting parents. I'm thankful for having good in laws. I'm thankful for everyones' well being this year..no one was extremely sick. I'm thankful for having such a wonderful husband who never forgets about his family. I'm thankful for having humorous siblings that will always put a smile on my face. And lastly, I'm thankful for God who has kept me safe throughout this year. I'm thankful that God has held me hands through everything as he is my sun and the moon.

bills, bills, bills...

Bills, bills, bills.....so many bills and so little money..what am I to do. I've been searching for a job for awhile now and NOTHING...sigh, it makes me sad. :( I really want to work so that way we can have enough for things you know. So freakin' hard and all. ButI have to keep telling myself that it's ok. God has bigger plans for me...I've gone thru so many interviews and none of them called me back. Yes, God has bigger plans for me. I have to stop thinking negative and continue to think positive. :D

It's Thanksgiving tomorrow...a hard tiring day of selling food at Hmong New Years tomorrow. I really hope we make more profit tomorrow that any other year. We should really stop this fundraising stuff...but maybe next year we will take a break again. haha..so I can go spend it with my family up in Elk Grove. My father in law wanted a Thanksgiving dinner, but not so sure how it's going to work out yet...haha...so last minute and all. I'm not so sure what we are going to have as well...I know I want Turkey, mashed potatoes w/ gravy, and ham. Lols..but we need like 2 more side dishes...maybe a salad and a stir-fry dish. With pumpkin or cherry pie for desert. Tomorrow I'll do a "what am I thankful for" blog.

Today is just going to be me and Summer along again...I think I'm just going to watch dramas..lols..makes my day go by faster and hopefully I'll find a good drama to watch.

toodles*

Feng Shui

So I've been looking up Feng Shui lately because I want to transform my room!! Gosh I'm like so addicted to it right now...and it's kind of exciting actually! I'm surprised that a lot of people don't know what feng shui is. It's also something Hmong people have been following for the past decade. So I thought I should try it out. I'm going to like buy a book for my mom for christmas..cause she's into this kind of stuff..and I think she will totally love it!! Haha. Well...I've been learning a lot actually and gosh..now I totally want to have my own home feng shui customized...hahahhaa. Ok, so I drew out my new bedroom layout and I've been downloading pictures from the internet this morning . I just need to print them out and frame them. Not sure how I'm going to decorate my walls yet, but I sort of have an idea already. I'm going to take before and after pics as well...and post them on here when I'm done. It should be all set by the time we have our open house for the young couples here. I totally want them to see my room, that's for sure! Hehe.

Off I go for more feng shui!!

shopping..

So we went to T-mobile last night to see about upgrading our single cell phone line to a family plan. And by the way T-mobile updated their plans and are so much better right now..cheaper. Anyways a cool guy helped us out and have us very useful information and we will be heading back to T-mobile Dec. 17th or 18th to do our family plan. I so want a new phone..but we'll see if I can be eligible to get a new phone. hehe.

After that we headed out to the the mall. I wanted a new purse since mine right now if like breaking apart. My straps are starting to rip so I don't want my straps to fall apart on me one day unexpected. I went to the small stores in the mall going thru all the purses and didn't find any one I liked wholeheartly. Some were too small, too big, or just simply too plain!! I want something medium to big size with a little bling to it with a nice interior and space. I want the handles to be just the perfect length. Also I want a new wallet to go well with a new purse. I found one that I liked..but still thinking about it if the size is right for me. Anyways, after trying to look for a purse I went to a store and found some stuff I really liked and they were having a "take an additional 25% off" sale. So I grabbed a black cotton leggings that I have been searching for for crazy cause I would never find my size. I also grabbed a red tank with lace and a purpel tube top top dress that would go great with my leggings. I just now need a like a nice sweater to wear to cover my shoulders, a necklace and some earings. Lols. I saw some cool necklaces and earings at Forever 21, but Abe was like no...don't buy them yet. I only spent $16.67 for all 3 items and was very pleased. I haven't bought anything for me in such a long time and I'm happy that I got the chance to get a little something. Oh and I got all these items at a store called Impressions.

Oh and I'm excited for Black Friday!!

'US'

A few blogs back I kept writing about how I wasn't happy with my marriage and how I hated my husband so much!! But I've been thinking for a couple of days now and I'm not mad anymore..lols. Abe is a sweet man who really really loves me. It's just that he's going thru a hard time in life and has lack of rest that we have been really grouchy to each other. The good news is that since he started his job at Oreilly things has turned around a bit. We talk more when he comes home and we get the evening together as well as the night. He used to work 3rd shift at Ross and it was always me and baby at home at night. But these past few days has just been such a bliss!! I'm very thankful that God has shown me the way. He gave me signs and informed that no matter how hard it can get, no matter how frustrating it may be, the person I married is the right person for me. God IS really wonderful and amazing!! I love Abe and he loves me. With God, everything is beautiful!

make up and stuff...

I've been watching a new channel on Youtube.com and discovered a gal names Cynthia who is Chinese and is a model. I think she is gorgeous and has such a unique look. I just found her last night when I was searching for new videos to watch because I was bored. I watched some of her videos already and she is just terrific! I learned a lot of new things from her and found some new websites to buy cheap yet good makeup. Here is the link:

http://www.eyeslipsface.com/home

It's called E.L.F. for the initials and all. I sort of heard about this name brand awhile back, but never really took the initiative to go and look at it. So this morning I checked out the website and I' very surprised! The prices are VERY AFFORDABLE. I so want to get their make up brush set and try it out as well as their eyeshadows. Lols...there's a lot on there that I would love to get when I get the chance. And it you spend over $75 you get free shipping. Haha.. bet I can spend more than $100 on there since everything is so cheap and all.

I also discovered something new from Cynthia. The nail polish company called China Glaze. She mentioned about a top coat that dries up like intsantly. I always do my nails like at night before I go to bed because it takes awhile for my nails to dry. When I do them during the day, I'm always injuring my nail polish..so they end up with nicks and it looks all messy when it dries. Cynthia has the same situation and she said that with China Glaze's top coat, her nail polish dries like instantly. I so want to try it!! I can never find something like that. I checked out the website just now and I can't seem to find the prices and top coat. I found their variety of colors; which is amazing by the way, but just can't find what I am looking for. I'll keep searching and hopefully I'll get it soon!! :)

I can't wait til I get started on doing my make up kit. I have so many things to buy and it's going to take me AWHILE to get it all together, but when I do; I'm going to share it with everyone! I'm really thinking about making my own channel on Youtube. I told my little sister that I wanted a webcam for christmas and so I hope she does get me that..and a good one too! hehe. I'm excited and can't wait to share a little of my life with all of the world. Have a super duper happy day!!

Princess Diaries

I just finished watching Princess Diaries with Anne Hathaway. I haven't seen it in awhile and thought I watch it since there wasn't much to do. While watching it I pondered about if I was in her position. Like what would I do? Every girl's dream is to be a princess or have a fairy tale love. What do I have? What did I end with now? I have always dreamed of being a princess...living in a big castle with maids and a personal attendant. I have always dreamed of meeting that special someone who would sweep me off my feet with his kiss and making my feet pop up (like what Mia talked about in the movie).

I did meet my special guy who gave me a kiss that made my foot pop up. His kisses were amazing and left a mark on my mind lingering for him when he left my side. My heart would flutter with butterflies when I was next to him or when he would reach for my hand to hold. Life was perfect when I was with him. Well...I was just really happy/nervous/shy all at once when I was with him. But it's sad that we didn't end like a fairytale story. We didn't end up together because he was always too busy to make time for 'US'.

When I met my husband now, it was a different reaction...not the same. It wasn't all fluttery and magical like Him. I sometime still long for him, but then I understand that we will never be. I long to find another special person who will give me the fluttery magical moments again. Someone who will kiss me and walk away yet; I will linger for his return so I can kiss him again. I long to the princess I dream to be...

Will there ever be a chance again?

Kandee's blog on patience

Kandee Johnson is such a cool person! She has inspired me so much on life and what not. You guys can check her out at http://kandeethemakeupartist.blogspot.com/ . I love her blogs on here and especially her youtube videos. They are awesome!! She's such a great role model on life and stuff. I just read her blog about patience and I believe it is so true. There is a season for all things to happen. And when we rush for things to happen so quickly, we make mistakes. An example she gave was relationships. You want to be with that person so much that you rush into a marriage just to find out that it was the wrong thing to do. I think I'm that person right now. All my life, I have always wanted the warmth and attention from men. I couldn't be with my first love so when I met my husband later I wanted things to be perfect. I didn't want to lose him either and rushed in marriage (by culture only). And now I'm sitting her regretting the days that I shouldn't have done it. That I should have went home on that day instead of going home with him. We are so different in many ways now. We've grown to adapt to each other yet it's so complicating at times. He likes certain things and I like certain things. Our taste in things has differ in the past 4 years of our relationship. I have a goal in life that I want to reach someday and he doesn't know what to do anymore. He used to know what he want; now it's "I don't know". I don't know...maybe we aren't meant to be. Now that we have our baby daughter, it's even harder to leave him. But I still do anyways and of course I'm taking her with me. I'm going to give us maybe another year together to see how it goes. If things don't shape up, then I'm going to have to call it quits.

I did rush into things because of my selfish needs. I'm the only one to blame for. I want to start a new life. A life where I can be able to reflect and say things like; "wow, I did it!".

brrr...cold!!

I wake up this morning and gosh I didn't want to get out of bed, but my urge to hit on the net was more than I wanted. Lols. So here I am!! It's so COLD this morning...I slept with 3 blankets..haha..it was WARM! Baby Summer is still snoozing away...under the warm blankies. hehe. But then yeah, the heater doesn't work so we are stuck to the cold wilderness in this house. So sad.. ::( I don't know when the landlord is going to fix it and all.

Today is the first day my Abe's new job. His broke down Friday Night and so...we've been car-less for the past couple of days. He figured out why his car just suddenly just died on the road. It was because of his timing belt went bad. He bought a new one yesterday and fixed it, test drove the car and found out the car has no more power. He called some of his friends with experience explaining his situation and they told him that his Head went out. OMG! So now he has to look for a Head..which ranges from $70-$500. He found someone off of craigslist yesterday that was selling his Head...called the guy and offered $80! So we'll see if he can go get today or what not. Geesh..so many things going wrong. That's why I seriously need a job, but then again; can't go to work without a car. Sigh.

Well, today is nothing much for me...just going to stay home and chill with baby Summer. And hope that it warms up in here...lols.

4 years today!

Today marks 4 years since my husband has asked me out...and also 4 years since we've known each other. It's a cloudy, raining, cold day...and I'm not happy at all. Argh! My husband is so irritating I say...gosh! I really hate everything about him. The only that attaches me to him is he's a generous man with a kind heart...but besides that he's such an ass!!!!! I'm so tired of him...I wish I can just leave his ass. But my life sucks because I can't even find a damn job to support myself! Shit!!! I just want to break down and cry!! I want a damn solution to all of this. I want to leave him..I want to be happy..yet I want to reach my future goal and be successful!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!I so want to just scream my lungs out at him! When will he ever learn!!! F*ck!

:(

facebook games..

So I haven't been on facebook in a long time. The last time I logged in was back in July..haha. I'm always on myspace instead. Well, Facebook has these games called Farmville (where you farm and have animals), Fishville (where you raise fishes to sell to make your tank look good) and Cafe World (where you are the chef and run your own restaurant). I started playing all 3 games yesterday morning..and gosh! I'm hooked!! Lols...I'm on them right now...silly me. I love cafe world..hahhaa...and farmville, but takes forever for crops to grow..haha. Fishville is cool..I still play it cause my lil brother in law plays it. And he loves fishes!! I haven't played online games in awhile...and I think these games are pretty cool! The sad part is you can't earn cash, you only earn coins. You would have to use actual real money to buy the cash..which kinda sucks cause there are some cool stuff for sale, but it only accepts cash.

Well, I got an interview at Sprint in Hemet Mall yesterday afternoon. It went pretty quick and easy. I asked the guy if I was someone he would hire and he said yes. Just that he has 15 more interviews to do and his boss is the one that chooses the last say in it. He mentioned that he wanted someone to start like probably next week or in 2 weeks. The downfall to this job is that you'll get cussed at a lot by the customers. It's a part time position that pays only min. wage plus commission. I'm having second thoughts on this one..I might not take it if the guys calls me back, but maybe the Lord is saying this is the job for you? Hard to say. We'll see what happens and all. I need to go to the outlets and go apply there...goshies! But even if I get a job, how am I suppose to get to work when Abe starts his new job Monday. Hahaha...that's also the sucky part.

Anywho, we are going to be doing laundry today. Washing all of our clothes!!

looks cold this morning...

Woke up this morning at 6:50am...so early. This time change is really effecting me..hehe. I'm up by 7am in the morning ever since the time changed and so is my baby girl. This morning looks a bit cold..the sun comes out and the fades away..with a slight breeze...the trees are moving a bit. Lols. I am supposed to go job hunting today..but iono. I just don't have the urge to do it. I know I need a job and all. There's many things I can do if I have found a job. But since it's so hard to get a job and I have been searching and going to interviews with no calls in return. I feel as if even though I go out there...no one wants me. :( I don't know. Sigh.

I'll give it a shot today and I'll pray before I head out.

BARKWORKS!!

So we went to Tyler Galleria in Riverside today. We just went window shopping for ideas for Christmas gifts. There's a puppy store called Barkworks there and we always go to it when we are there. OMG!! They have the cutest pups there!! And they were having such a GOOD SALE!! If I had the money and not live with other ppl...I would have bought one!! My daughter who is only 7 months loves pets and she was jumping with joy when we were there. Gosh!! They had Yorkies, Shitzus, labradoodles, german shepard, maltese mixes, and so much more! SIgh...I so want one!! I have always wanted to have my own lil doggie!! I had one when I was younger but my parents took him away because they didn't want pets anymore. So sad...I say! I want to own a shitzu or a malitpoo...they are so adorable!! I so can't wait til I own one!!! :P

Anyways, I've been thinking about buying a home lately. I totally want to have my own place again. I really miss that. I really want to buy a home by the end of April of next year. But I don't know how..cause my credit is like really bad and so is my hubby. We kind of ruined our credit in the early years...stupid of us..but yeah. We haven't been able to pay anything off due to the lack of finances throughout the past couple of years. I know we can be able to save enough for the down paymet, but we won't qualify for a loan. I was thinking about asking my parents if they would cosign for us...but you know, you never know the answers to that. I'm not even sure if my husband's parents would do it too. Since Obama has extended the home buyer tax credit to April 30, 2010 I really want to take up the opportunity and buy a home. My price range is pretty decent...I'm looking to buy a home that is between $75,000 and $140,000. Nothing too extreme, just reasonable for our state of budget. Gosh, buying a home would be such an accomplishment! After buying a home, I can focus on my career...finish school and strive to open up my fashion retail store. I would be like super HAPPY! :D

money, money, money...

Money...everyone needs money in order to survive in this crucial world these days. Money is very important...it gets you from point A to point B smoothly. People with money have more buying power. But then again, money means greed. What if there was unlimited money to spend in this world...will we be more happier? Or will we all be still the same? If you think about it, in bank accounts ...it's just a number...If we were to just just our debit/credit cards only without cash...gosh, why not let the bank just refill our account all the time? Cause they wouldn't be giving out cash...so that would be more of a convenience.

Well, money is my problem at the moment of my life right now. I need money in order to get ahead in life. I need a job in order to have money to go to school, buy a house, pay off debts, and support my little family. Money is like my savior at the moment. Although GOD is my savior of everything. Money is needed much! If I had money, I would be able to do so much. I could go to school without worries and then be able to open up my very own fashion retail store. Sigh....gosh I so want that!!! There are things in life sometimes where it's so hard to grasp because there is no money.

Gosh if I were able to change one aspect of this world, I would change the money system. I would let everyone have unlimited money. Everything purchased would be debit/credit only. Banks would just refill when you get low. Cash will be limited. One person would only be allowed to take out a certain amount per month. Plus, cash wouldn't be so important to carry anymore...only just in case you forget your card at home. Everything would be purchased electronically. Then there will never be anymore poverty in this world anymore. Everyone would be a little bit more happier; although I don't promise cruel things will still be present. But yeah, I think ppl will get to do what they have always wanted and feel more accomplished in life. Oh and also there will be an age limit to those who will own a card...I'm thinking age 20 and up. I truly think 18 is not an age where ppl mature. People usually mature when they are in their 20's. So I would totally have an age limit!!

I'm stressin' cause I am having financial problems. This was just a thought that I was thinking about. It'll be pretty cool though!! hehe

2010 Wishlist....

Ok..so I have been going about on all the things that I WANT and NEED! There are so many things that I would like to own by the end of 2010. I actually made a list...lols. LOOK BELOW!

Owned by 2010:

- Pink, Black, White, Nude, purple, and 2 warm colors nail polish
- Ecotools or Sigma make up brush set
- 88 regular eye shadow palette from Coastalscent
- 88 shimmer eye shadow palette from Coastalscent
- 88 warm eye shadow palette from Coastalscent
- A good hydrating body lotion
- MAC Studio fix powder foundation
- MAC Studio fix bronzer
- A good liquid foundation
- A good face moisturizer with SPF
- Loreal's LASH BLAST mascara
- A new eye lash curler
- Low cut black socks
- Low cut white socks
- Long socks
- A new pair of casual tennis shoes
- Black flat boots or with a little heel
- Brown flat boots or with a little heel
- 2 new pairs of sandals
- 3 pairs of new jeans (skinny and boot cut)
- Fashionable leather jacket
- A nice black peacoat
- 4 new white tanks with lace
- Black tank tops (or colored)
- A new black button down sweater
- A new big purse
- A new wallet (pink or white)
- Black, white, gray cotton leggings
- Metallic leggings
- Necklace, bracelets, and earings!!!
- 2010 wall calendar
- 2010 planner
- Victoria's Secret's Velvet perfume
- A new blazer
- 2 new pairs of black pants (with zipper on the back or side)
- Make up primer
- 2 new bottles of hairspray (flexible and strong hold)
- A wooden round brush with good bristles
- A new comb
- An electric shaver
- A light blue or white comforter set (Queen size)
- 4 new firm pillows
- A make up brush cleaner
- Post it's
- 2 notebooks
- 5 dressy tops
- 8 gb mp3 player
- White dresser
- Black picture frames
- A camcorder
- 16 gb SD memory card
- A new Queen Size mattress
- Laundry baskets
- Sleepwear!!!
- A new car (SUV)

...and more to come!!

election and blah..

Drum ROLL!! The results are in!! The election at church this morning was long yet very interesting. A lot of the candidates that were nominated backed down and didn't want the position at all...which was very sad and disappointing. But anyways...hahha...I wasn't nominated for anything. My heart is actually set on being Sunday School director. I want to improve the children's education on God and learning how to pray. Because I don't see that at all in the past 3 years that I have been here. I'm not sure if I will be selected, but I would love to be it. I don't think anyone wants to take up the responsibility anyways...lols. Well, I'll just pray and hope that I get the position. I have so many thoughts already piling up...hahha...I'm already so excited even when I'm not the Director yet. Lols. Well, the next 2 years will be an exciting one and a good one!! (I hope)...lols.

Enough said, I really need a job. I really do...I really need to get ahead of other people and like you know...so people can see what I am capable of. I know that people see me as a lazy person who doesn't want to do anything..or a person who says something, but doesn't get their butt up and actually doing it. I plan on changing that!! I want people to respect me and see that I can do things....I'm just not in the position to do it because I have no car to get anywhere and always have to depend on my lazy retarded husband...lols. Anyways, I plan to go apply for seasonal positions at the Outlet tomorrow...I'll need all the prayers I can get...I want to be able to work asap! And then Tuesday I'm thinking about heading out of town and apply at temp agencies and see what they can help me with. Wednesday I need to head over to Social Services and fill out my quarterly report. Thursday I'll just do laundry and take a day off...the Friday call Art Institute for more information on attending there next year in the Spring. Good luck to me this week and I just really hope for the best!!

Sunday church election...

So today is Sunday, November the 7th!! It's that time of the year again...election DAY at church! I currently hold the secretarial position for the women's dept. and my hubby is president for the men's dept. I'm up early because I wanted to write this blog as well as make myself look extra good today (don't know how I'm gonna do that, but I'll try anyways...lols). I can't wait to see who will be leaders next as well as nervous if I get nominated..which I don't think...but there's a possibility. I just hope today will be filled with laughters and hugs and all that warm fuzzy stuff!! :) We missed the election 2 years ago because my hubby was having a high fever/flu...so we couldn't make it, but was given the office positions afterwards. So it's my first time joining on such an event. YAY!!

Anyways...I'll be back on here later tonight to spill the beans and yeah!

It's daylight savings TIME!! Fall back an HOUR!! Yet I wake up at 7am...hahahha. Everyone is sleeping in while I am awake. My tummy hurts, there's a lot on my mind, and I don't want to go to church this morning. Sigh...I've been thinking so much.

What I have been thinking about? I've been thinking about why the Lord gave me my hubby. Why him? I don't even know if he will perfect my life...he doesn't even want to better himself in his career anymore...he has no motivation. He's so lazy at times. He doesn't pick up after himself. He's slow..doesn't get/or doesn't know what to do when it comes to cleaning. He's stubborn! He just doesn't get it. He won't even wake up at 8am or 9am...he keeps saying he's tired...yet I'm the one who wakes up at night to feed Baby. When she wakes up...I'm usually up already. So irritating!! The list can go on..but I prefer not listing them...too much.

I still can't figure it out.

sigh...

So here it goes again...we are short once again for rent. OMG...how many times do I have to remind him...watch out on what you spend...I totally was trying to not to spend because I was worried this might happen again. I only bought what was necessary/what was really NEEDED. Sigh...stresses me out so much and all...i don't know what to say anymore. Gosh, Lord, please help me..please help us...please help!! I know you are the only capable of putting smile upon my face. :(

Ok...So I am 3 days late for my period. It hasn't started...I think I can feel it coming, but nothing is appearing. I was planning to get a pregnancy test today and test it out, but we have no extra money on the side to even go buy it. I'll just wait until next week. But how can I be pregnant? He never left it in there...you know, he always took it out!! I don't know...it's ok though...if it happens, it happens. I'm happy with whatever the lord blesses me with. I really don't want to have anymore after 2 kids...but who knoes...haha. Sigh....

Sigh....sigh...

ugh!!! ARGH!!

I hate him!! I hate him!! I hate him!! Gosh, when is he ever gonna grow up!! Geesh, always playing games and all...that's all he knows what to do when he wakes up in the morning. F**ck!! Shit I can not tolerate this any longer. I now understand why so many women are divorced or single...men are complete disasters!! He's so stupid!!!!!!! Man, I wish my car was working and I can go out and find a job so I can leave this bastard!!! I do all the thinking for him, I do everything!! All he does and go to work and play his dumb games! He always complains about watching the baby and shit!!! F**CK!! Sigh...I should have listened to my parents when they warned me about him before we even got acquainted!!! I totally want to leave this fool!! But I can't do shit because I don't have a freakin' job and my car is in need of a lot of fixing!!!

I can't til I can drive my car again!! I can't wait til I get a good job!! I can't wait til I can be able to leave this mutherfu**ker!!

Gosh, I am so angry right now...he pisses me off EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! HE's is so dumb as welll!!!!! Why is he so DUMB?!! Gosh, what an ass!!

just my thoughts................

My husband just left to work and Summer is fast asleep. I've been thinking a lot lately....which I don't even want to think about at all. Financial issues......thoughts.....on life. We have so many debts that we need to pay off by the end of this year and I don't know how I am going to be able to do it. I'm going to go job hunting tomorrow afternoon, I don't know cause we have to go return the fridge and all. Sigh......everything is like geesh! I want to do things, but am not able to because things keep coming up and all. It's like I keep putting people's as my priority and mine last. I so hate it.....I really need to stop it!!!!! ARGH!!!

I'm happy that Aplaham did get a full time job and he starts next week I hope. But I so need a job and all. Gosh, I'm so stressed out and shit. My mind is going to burst just thinking about it. It totally just makes me feel down and all.

Anyways, enough about that stuff!! I have a new vision now! Haha. I'm going to change my diet starting November 1st! I'm going to cut off sugary sodas, greasy foods, and lower my sweet intake. I'm going to go to an Ogranic Grocery Store and buy healthy food. I really need to start eating healthy and start living happily! I'm going to start jogging at 2-3 days out of the week as well. I want a toned body......a sexy body! I want to be able to lose 15-20 pounds. I'm 140 pounds right now, but I would love be 120 pounds again. :)

So cheer on for me and let's make things happen!! :D

SAD :(

So sad...I waited and waited..no call back from Miss Sixty/Energie...meaning I didn't get the job. :( I'm so sad...I feel as if I just let myself down along with my hubby and daughter. I feel like such a loser...sigh...I was really hoping to get the job and all. But I don't know, maybe they did try to call me, but didn't get through? Cause sometimes ppl call me and they say that it tells them the number they are calling can not be reached....sigh...T-Mobile sucks sometimes. I'm just over thinking and all...*sniff *sniff. I guess God has something better for me.... :S

I'm going to head back to the mall Monday and go apply at the other stores and try my luck again. Please keep me in your prayers and hopefully I can land a job soon!!!

So today I went to David's open house and it made me so jealous. I just so want to cry right now. I could be that person you know, showing off your house. I could have been that person with smiles on their face greeting guests in. It should have been me who had bought a house. But I'm not...I'm no where near it. Abel (my hubby's younger brother) just bought a house a month ago..and we are living with them. It's a decent house...it only costed $95,000.00. Sigh...I really want a house of my own. I really want a job. I really want to go to school. I really want to be able to open my own fashion retail store someday. I really want to be successful in life. I really want to make my parents proud of me. I really, really, really, want it!! But I'm no where near it...no where near my dream. I'm just a lonely person in this world who just sits at home watching her kid. No ambition to do anything. Lord, help me. Help me make my life better.

UPDATE!!!! The interview yesterday went by fine! I tried my best and all...so no regrets!..I think..**...ahahha. Butta yeah...there was this other gal and me...they interviewed both of us at the same time and all. She's really good at speaking and has good energy, but she lacked experience in the field. They asked her more questions then they asked me...sad, but oh wells. They were asking her questions that are normally interivew questions....I think they didn't want to ask me those cause they knew my experience background already. I prayed all morning and even before interview...the lady said they'll be giving us a call in a couple of days. I really hope I get it, but if God believes he has a better plan or opportunity for me, then it's ok too! :D I'm up for whatever!

I love FASHION!!! Haha...

So..today was an exciting day!! I landed an interview for tomorrow at 3pm at Miss Sixty!! I'm so excited and so up for it!! I can't wait!! I know that I will do good!! Please pray for me everyone...I really need this job. It would be such a lifesaver!! :D

I didn't go job hunting today, but I did go to the grocery store and bought some veggies and other stuff. It was a bummer though...I went to walmart to buy the macroni grill's chicken alfredo box, but there was no more left on the shelf, such a BUMMER!! So I had to stick with Betty Crocker...made that when I came home from the store...it was YUMMY!! So tomorrow I was thinking chicken fried rice and boiled chicken with tofu!! Can't wait for that!! hahaha...I'll take pics and post them on this blog when I get the chance!

My legs are so sore from playing DDR yesterday and today...hehe. I love it!! I should play like 2 hrs each day...burns calories and tones my legs! And then do yoga...lols...yeap! What a great idea...I totally need to lose all this fat hanging around!!! :P

Well, Summer just went to bed..thank goodness! Tonight and today was a good day! Just recently, Summer has been shaking her head now...(shaking her head like saying no)...she's so cute!

Oh..I took off my yellow w/ glitter nail polish off I showered earlier...I wanted to paint them hot pink, but somehow I can't find it...BUMMER! So maybe I'll just color it plain yellow! But I'll do that tomorrow when I wake up in the morning.

So tomorrow is going to be a filled day!! I plan on going to the college for a consultation for a program, then afterwards go job hunting! I plan on going to UEI for the pharmacy tech program. It only takes 8 months and I graduate. I need a stable good paying job and this is going to give me just that. After I finish there, I plan to attend Art Institute for Fashion Management; which will take about 3 yrs to finish. My dream is to have my own clothing line or clothing retail store in the future. I love fashion and it just brightens my day just thinking about it. I'm so excited and can't wait for that to happen one day! I'm so going to work hard towards it. This is why I want to work at retail store right now and gain even more experience in that field. I really hope that Miss Sixty hires me onto their team. I would so be blessed! I believe that Miss Sixty has what I need...an upscale italian background store.

Well, I better go to bed now..good night and wish me luck!!!

- julie

So I woke this morning feeling kinda of irritated. I so couldn't sleep last night at all....I was tossing and turning this morning...I just couldn't find a comfortable position for my head and neck. I think I need new pillows or something!! argh!! :( The good thing is that Summer slept thru the whole night....she didn't get up til close to 9am. My head hurts now..I think I have been staring at the computer too much these past few days. So now that I look at the screen more........my headache comes.

Anyways, I plan on going job hunting at the outlets (which is like 5 mins away from my home) today. I totally need a job and me just sitting here at home is just not going to cut it. With just my husband's income is not going to cut it..sigh...life just sucks at time. I really hope I find this new job soon! I mean..literally...I want these employers to call me like the next for an interview..........lols.

I'm also planning on cooking good food today as well!! It's been awhile since we had really good food in this house..hahhaa....but we are so out of veggies so I need head out to the grocery store and get some. I was thinking; chicken alfredo, stir fry pork with tomatoes, fried shrimp, and broiled chicken with veggies!! So many dishes.....lols.....I so want to have a feast tonight!! hahaha!!! We'll see how things go...my hubby is still sleeping and Summer is napping now.

I better go wash up and get ready..it's a big day today!! Wish me luck and have a super duper happy day!!

- julie

JULIE JULIE JULIE!!

Today is October 14, 2009 and the time here now is 8:45am. The weather this morning is gray sky with slight winds...a bit chilly outside I might add. They say it's suppose to rain today, but we'll see how that goes. hehe.

Well, this is m first blog on here!! I used to blog on Xanga, but I haven't been there in awhile and then I discovered this site..haha...I know..I'm so late! Haha..oh wells. I thought I would start blogging again..writing a blog at least once a day..just to vent out my thoughts...it may be boring...who knows! Lols...butta yeah...maybe I should just introduce myself and talk about my background in this blog..hahaha...!!! YAY!!

So my name is Julie Eh. Vang...it's a beautiful name that my parents thought of, but I'm not so sure of my middle name haha...it's just an E and a H...wow, so much for a middle name that I don't even know what it means...not even my parents when I do ask them...hahahha...that's just hilarious! But who cares, it's unique and it's what makes me stand out from others! :D I'm currently 23 yrs old and my birthday is in April....the 21st! I'm asian of course...HMONG is the nationality! Proud to be a Hmong, but sad that they have lots of pride; which I don't favor as much! hehe.

I've been married to this husband of mines' for almost 3 yrs now and we have a beautiful intelligent daughter who is 6 months. She has a great personality and is always wanting to do things. I just can't wait til she can talk and walk....it's so exciting to see someone grow. It makes you wonder...was I that small? Geesh, look what I've become!! It's hard, yet very satisfying watching someone grow...I thank my parents for that. They had 6 of us total to feed, clothe, and teach! hahha...what a JOB! Haha. I only have one and it's costing my lots of money and patience! hahaha...:) I'm planning to have another one soon...maybe summer 2010 I'll try and get pregnant again. I really do want my daughter, Summer, to have a sibling to play with...you know...a partner in crime! hahha.

So...I'm from a family of 8! I have 2 younger sisters and 3 younger brothers. I'm the oldest of the children..sucks, but hey! I was loved first!! HAHAHAHA....:P I had such an amazing childhood...lots of memories were made. I think back at times and wish I was still there...sigh...haha. It's a time where there was no worries and all you knew was to have fun with each other. :D

I love italian food..mi favorites!!!! I love to shop..haha...but have no money...so yeah..ahhaha...I don't shop as much as I used to now. My wardrobe is like so old...hahahha....I haven't bought clothing is such a long time...I totally need a new look..new clothes!! Maybe for Christmas someone will buy me a giftcard...hahhhhaha. I collect stuffed animals, I have been since I was only 12 yrs old..I just love them..so cute and cuddly! I threw half of them away when we moved last month...I still have half of them left packed in a box sitting in the garage. My husband tells me baby Summer doesn't need teddy bears cause her mommy has a bunch she can give her haha. Oh my favorite color is yellow, but I do love pink, white, green, black and purple!! I painted my nails yellow with a coat of glitter 2 nights ago...hahah..they are awesome looking!! I'll take a picture of them and post them up here tomorrow! I'm cheerful, happy, giddy, smiley....person! I'm mad rarely..and hate it when I am MAD...ugh...it does not feel good and I feel as if my head will burst. So I do my best to be a happy giddy person all the time. I love to laugh!! You can see me laughing all the time throughout my days...haha...cause every day is a happy day!! (until a storm comes rushing down and I get super mad!!)

Hmm..what else should I share???....I think that is pretty much it about me. Well, the basics..hahhaha...I'll write more in the blogs to COME!! hehe.

Thank you for reading and have a super happy day!

- julie