sigh...

So here it goes again...we are short once again for rent. OMG...how many times do I have to remind him...watch out on what you spend...I totally was trying to not to spend because I was worried this might happen again. I only bought what was necessary/what was really NEEDED. Sigh...stresses me out so much and all...i don't know what to say anymore. Gosh, Lord, please help me..please help us...please help!! I know you are the only capable of putting smile upon my face. :(

Ok...So I am 3 days late for my period. It hasn't started...I think I can feel it coming, but nothing is appearing. I was planning to get a pregnancy test today and test it out, but we have no extra money on the side to even go buy it. I'll just wait until next week. But how can I be pregnant? He never left it in there...you know, he always took it out!! I don't know...it's ok though...if it happens, it happens. I'm happy with whatever the lord blesses me with. I really don't want to have anymore after 2 kids...but who knoes...haha. Sigh....

Sigh....sigh...

ugh!!! ARGH!!

I hate him!! I hate him!! I hate him!! Gosh, when is he ever gonna grow up!! Geesh, always playing games and all...that's all he knows what to do when he wakes up in the morning. F**ck!! Shit I can not tolerate this any longer. I now understand why so many women are divorced or single...men are complete disasters!! He's so stupid!!!!!!! Man, I wish my car was working and I can go out and find a job so I can leave this bastard!!! I do all the thinking for him, I do everything!! All he does and go to work and play his dumb games! He always complains about watching the baby and shit!!! F**CK!! Sigh...I should have listened to my parents when they warned me about him before we even got acquainted!!! I totally want to leave this fool!! But I can't do shit because I don't have a freakin' job and my car is in need of a lot of fixing!!!

I can't til I can drive my car again!! I can't wait til I get a good job!! I can't wait til I can be able to leave this mutherfu**ker!!

Gosh, I am so angry right now...he pisses me off EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! HE's is so dumb as welll!!!!! Why is he so DUMB?!! Gosh, what an ass!!

just my thoughts................

My husband just left to work and Summer is fast asleep. I've been thinking a lot lately....which I don't even want to think about at all. Financial issues......thoughts.....on life. We have so many debts that we need to pay off by the end of this year and I don't know how I am going to be able to do it. I'm going to go job hunting tomorrow afternoon, I don't know cause we have to go return the fridge and all. Sigh......everything is like geesh! I want to do things, but am not able to because things keep coming up and all. It's like I keep putting people's as my priority and mine last. I so hate it.....I really need to stop it!!!!! ARGH!!!

I'm happy that Aplaham did get a full time job and he starts next week I hope. But I so need a job and all. Gosh, I'm so stressed out and shit. My mind is going to burst just thinking about it. It totally just makes me feel down and all.

Anyways, enough about that stuff!! I have a new vision now! Haha. I'm going to change my diet starting November 1st! I'm going to cut off sugary sodas, greasy foods, and lower my sweet intake. I'm going to go to an Ogranic Grocery Store and buy healthy food. I really need to start eating healthy and start living happily! I'm going to start jogging at 2-3 days out of the week as well. I want a toned body......a sexy body! I want to be able to lose 15-20 pounds. I'm 140 pounds right now, but I would love be 120 pounds again. :)

So cheer on for me and let's make things happen!! :D

SAD :(

So sad...I waited and waited..no call back from Miss Sixty/Energie...meaning I didn't get the job. :( I'm so sad...I feel as if I just let myself down along with my hubby and daughter. I feel like such a loser...sigh...I was really hoping to get the job and all. But I don't know, maybe they did try to call me, but didn't get through? Cause sometimes ppl call me and they say that it tells them the number they are calling can not be reached....sigh...T-Mobile sucks sometimes. I'm just over thinking and all...*sniff *sniff. I guess God has something better for me.... :S

I'm going to head back to the mall Monday and go apply at the other stores and try my luck again. Please keep me in your prayers and hopefully I can land a job soon!!!

So today I went to David's open house and it made me so jealous. I just so want to cry right now. I could be that person you know, showing off your house. I could have been that person with smiles on their face greeting guests in. It should have been me who had bought a house. But I'm not...I'm no where near it. Abel (my hubby's younger brother) just bought a house a month ago..and we are living with them. It's a decent house...it only costed $95,000.00. Sigh...I really want a house of my own. I really want a job. I really want to go to school. I really want to be able to open my own fashion retail store someday. I really want to be successful in life. I really want to make my parents proud of me. I really, really, really, want it!! But I'm no where near it...no where near my dream. I'm just a lonely person in this world who just sits at home watching her kid. No ambition to do anything. Lord, help me. Help me make my life better.

UPDATE!!!! The interview yesterday went by fine! I tried my best and all...so no regrets!..I think..**...ahahha. Butta yeah...there was this other gal and me...they interviewed both of us at the same time and all. She's really good at speaking and has good energy, but she lacked experience in the field. They asked her more questions then they asked me...sad, but oh wells. They were asking her questions that are normally interivew questions....I think they didn't want to ask me those cause they knew my experience background already. I prayed all morning and even before interview...the lady said they'll be giving us a call in a couple of days. I really hope I get it, but if God believes he has a better plan or opportunity for me, then it's ok too! :D I'm up for whatever!

I love FASHION!!! Haha...

So..today was an exciting day!! I landed an interview for tomorrow at 3pm at Miss Sixty!! I'm so excited and so up for it!! I can't wait!! I know that I will do good!! Please pray for me everyone...I really need this job. It would be such a lifesaver!! :D

I didn't go job hunting today, but I did go to the grocery store and bought some veggies and other stuff. It was a bummer though...I went to walmart to buy the macroni grill's chicken alfredo box, but there was no more left on the shelf, such a BUMMER!! So I had to stick with Betty Crocker...made that when I came home from the store...it was YUMMY!! So tomorrow I was thinking chicken fried rice and boiled chicken with tofu!! Can't wait for that!! hahaha...I'll take pics and post them on this blog when I get the chance!

My legs are so sore from playing DDR yesterday and today...hehe. I love it!! I should play like 2 hrs each day...burns calories and tones my legs! And then do yoga...lols...yeap! What a great idea...I totally need to lose all this fat hanging around!!! :P

Well, Summer just went to bed..thank goodness! Tonight and today was a good day! Just recently, Summer has been shaking her head now...(shaking her head like saying no)...she's so cute!

Oh..I took off my yellow w/ glitter nail polish off I showered earlier...I wanted to paint them hot pink, but somehow I can't find it...BUMMER! So maybe I'll just color it plain yellow! But I'll do that tomorrow when I wake up in the morning.

So tomorrow is going to be a filled day!! I plan on going to the college for a consultation for a program, then afterwards go job hunting! I plan on going to UEI for the pharmacy tech program. It only takes 8 months and I graduate. I need a stable good paying job and this is going to give me just that. After I finish there, I plan to attend Art Institute for Fashion Management; which will take about 3 yrs to finish. My dream is to have my own clothing line or clothing retail store in the future. I love fashion and it just brightens my day just thinking about it. I'm so excited and can't wait for that to happen one day! I'm so going to work hard towards it. This is why I want to work at retail store right now and gain even more experience in that field. I really hope that Miss Sixty hires me onto their team. I would so be blessed! I believe that Miss Sixty has what I need...an upscale italian background store.

Well, I better go to bed now..good night and wish me luck!!!

- julie

So I woke this morning feeling kinda of irritated. I so couldn't sleep last night at all....I was tossing and turning this morning...I just couldn't find a comfortable position for my head and neck. I think I need new pillows or something!! argh!! :( The good thing is that Summer slept thru the whole night....she didn't get up til close to 9am. My head hurts now..I think I have been staring at the computer too much these past few days. So now that I look at the screen more........my headache comes.

Anyways, I plan on going job hunting at the outlets (which is like 5 mins away from my home) today. I totally need a job and me just sitting here at home is just not going to cut it. With just my husband's income is not going to cut it..sigh...life just sucks at time. I really hope I find this new job soon! I mean..literally...I want these employers to call me like the next for an interview..........lols.

I'm also planning on cooking good food today as well!! It's been awhile since we had really good food in this house..hahhaa....but we are so out of veggies so I need head out to the grocery store and get some. I was thinking; chicken alfredo, stir fry pork with tomatoes, fried shrimp, and broiled chicken with veggies!! So many dishes.....lols.....I so want to have a feast tonight!! hahaha!!! We'll see how things go...my hubby is still sleeping and Summer is napping now.

I better go wash up and get ready..it's a big day today!! Wish me luck and have a super duper happy day!!

- julie

JULIE JULIE JULIE!!

Today is October 14, 2009 and the time here now is 8:45am. The weather this morning is gray sky with slight winds...a bit chilly outside I might add. They say it's suppose to rain today, but we'll see how that goes. hehe.

Well, this is m first blog on here!! I used to blog on Xanga, but I haven't been there in awhile and then I discovered this site..haha...I know..I'm so late! Haha..oh wells. I thought I would start blogging again..writing a blog at least once a day..just to vent out my thoughts...it may be boring...who knows! Lols...butta yeah...maybe I should just introduce myself and talk about my background in this blog..hahaha...!!! YAY!!

So my name is Julie Eh. Vang...it's a beautiful name that my parents thought of, but I'm not so sure of my middle name haha...it's just an E and a H...wow, so much for a middle name that I don't even know what it means...not even my parents when I do ask them...hahahha...that's just hilarious! But who cares, it's unique and it's what makes me stand out from others! :D I'm currently 23 yrs old and my birthday is in April....the 21st! I'm asian of course...HMONG is the nationality! Proud to be a Hmong, but sad that they have lots of pride; which I don't favor as much! hehe.

I've been married to this husband of mines' for almost 3 yrs now and we have a beautiful intelligent daughter who is 6 months. She has a great personality and is always wanting to do things. I just can't wait til she can talk and walk....it's so exciting to see someone grow. It makes you wonder...was I that small? Geesh, look what I've become!! It's hard, yet very satisfying watching someone grow...I thank my parents for that. They had 6 of us total to feed, clothe, and teach! hahha...what a JOB! Haha. I only have one and it's costing my lots of money and patience! hahaha...:) I'm planning to have another one soon...maybe summer 2010 I'll try and get pregnant again. I really do want my daughter, Summer, to have a sibling to play with...you know...a partner in crime! hahha.

So...I'm from a family of 8! I have 2 younger sisters and 3 younger brothers. I'm the oldest of the children..sucks, but hey! I was loved first!! HAHAHAHA....:P I had such an amazing childhood...lots of memories were made. I think back at times and wish I was still there...sigh...haha. It's a time where there was no worries and all you knew was to have fun with each other. :D

I love italian food..mi favorites!!!! I love to shop..haha...but have no money...so yeah..ahhaha...I don't shop as much as I used to now. My wardrobe is like so old...hahahha....I haven't bought clothing is such a long time...I totally need a new look..new clothes!! Maybe for Christmas someone will buy me a giftcard...hahhhhaha. I collect stuffed animals, I have been since I was only 12 yrs old..I just love them..so cute and cuddly! I threw half of them away when we moved last month...I still have half of them left packed in a box sitting in the garage. My husband tells me baby Summer doesn't need teddy bears cause her mommy has a bunch she can give her haha. Oh my favorite color is yellow, but I do love pink, white, green, black and purple!! I painted my nails yellow with a coat of glitter 2 nights ago...hahah..they are awesome looking!! I'll take a picture of them and post them up here tomorrow! I'm cheerful, happy, giddy, smiley....person! I'm mad rarely..and hate it when I am MAD...ugh...it does not feel good and I feel as if my head will burst. So I do my best to be a happy giddy person all the time. I love to laugh!! You can see me laughing all the time throughout my days...haha...cause every day is a happy day!! (until a storm comes rushing down and I get super mad!!)

Hmm..what else should I share???....I think that is pretty much it about me. Well, the basics..hahhaha...I'll write more in the blogs to COME!! hehe.

Thank you for reading and have a super happy day!

- julie