Thanksgiving!!

We didn't have a Thanksgiving feast last night...not sure why, but looks like no one is interested in actually preparing one. I wanted a Thanksgiving dinner with the family, but Aplaham and I were stuck at the Hmong New Years selling food to the guests that we couldn't prepare it. I really want some turkey with mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, salad, macaroni salad, baked ham..etc. Maybe I'll just prepare us a Thanksgiving dinner sometime next week. I'll go buy a small turkey for just us 3...have a little Thanksgiving for our little family and say what we are thankful for.

2 days ago, I said that I was going to blog about what I am thankful for this year...well, here goes:

I'm thankful for giving birth to a wonderful, healthy baby girl. I'm thankful for the smooth delivery of her. I'm thankful for have great supporting parents. I'm thankful for having good in laws. I'm thankful for everyones' well being this year..no one was extremely sick. I'm thankful for having such a wonderful husband who never forgets about his family. I'm thankful for having humorous siblings that will always put a smile on my face. And lastly, I'm thankful for God who has kept me safe throughout this year. I'm thankful that God has held me hands through everything as he is my sun and the moon.

bills, bills, bills...

Bills, bills, bills.....so many bills and so little money..what am I to do. I've been searching for a job for awhile now and NOTHING...sigh, it makes me sad. :( I really want to work so that way we can have enough for things you know. So freakin' hard and all. ButI have to keep telling myself that it's ok. God has bigger plans for me...I've gone thru so many interviews and none of them called me back. Yes, God has bigger plans for me. I have to stop thinking negative and continue to think positive. :D

It's Thanksgiving tomorrow...a hard tiring day of selling food at Hmong New Years tomorrow. I really hope we make more profit tomorrow that any other year. We should really stop this fundraising stuff...but maybe next year we will take a break again. haha..so I can go spend it with my family up in Elk Grove. My father in law wanted a Thanksgiving dinner, but not so sure how it's going to work out yet...haha...so last minute and all. I'm not so sure what we are going to have as well...I know I want Turkey, mashed potatoes w/ gravy, and ham. Lols..but we need like 2 more side dishes...maybe a salad and a stir-fry dish. With pumpkin or cherry pie for desert. Tomorrow I'll do a "what am I thankful for" blog.

Today is just going to be me and Summer along again...I think I'm just going to watch dramas..lols..makes my day go by faster and hopefully I'll find a good drama to watch.

toodles*

Feng Shui

So I've been looking up Feng Shui lately because I want to transform my room!! Gosh I'm like so addicted to it right now...and it's kind of exciting actually! I'm surprised that a lot of people don't know what feng shui is. It's also something Hmong people have been following for the past decade. So I thought I should try it out. I'm going to like buy a book for my mom for christmas..cause she's into this kind of stuff..and I think she will totally love it!! Haha. Well...I've been learning a lot actually and gosh..now I totally want to have my own home feng shui customized...hahahhaa. Ok, so I drew out my new bedroom layout and I've been downloading pictures from the internet this morning . I just need to print them out and frame them. Not sure how I'm going to decorate my walls yet, but I sort of have an idea already. I'm going to take before and after pics as well...and post them on here when I'm done. It should be all set by the time we have our open house for the young couples here. I totally want them to see my room, that's for sure! Hehe.

Off I go for more feng shui!!

shopping..

So we went to T-mobile last night to see about upgrading our single cell phone line to a family plan. And by the way T-mobile updated their plans and are so much better right now..cheaper. Anyways a cool guy helped us out and have us very useful information and we will be heading back to T-mobile Dec. 17th or 18th to do our family plan. I so want a new phone..but we'll see if I can be eligible to get a new phone. hehe.

After that we headed out to the the mall. I wanted a new purse since mine right now if like breaking apart. My straps are starting to rip so I don't want my straps to fall apart on me one day unexpected. I went to the small stores in the mall going thru all the purses and didn't find any one I liked wholeheartly. Some were too small, too big, or just simply too plain!! I want something medium to big size with a little bling to it with a nice interior and space. I want the handles to be just the perfect length. Also I want a new wallet to go well with a new purse. I found one that I liked..but still thinking about it if the size is right for me. Anyways, after trying to look for a purse I went to a store and found some stuff I really liked and they were having a "take an additional 25% off" sale. So I grabbed a black cotton leggings that I have been searching for for crazy cause I would never find my size. I also grabbed a red tank with lace and a purpel tube top top dress that would go great with my leggings. I just now need a like a nice sweater to wear to cover my shoulders, a necklace and some earings. Lols. I saw some cool necklaces and earings at Forever 21, but Abe was like no...don't buy them yet. I only spent $16.67 for all 3 items and was very pleased. I haven't bought anything for me in such a long time and I'm happy that I got the chance to get a little something. Oh and I got all these items at a store called Impressions.

Oh and I'm excited for Black Friday!!

'US'

A few blogs back I kept writing about how I wasn't happy with my marriage and how I hated my husband so much!! But I've been thinking for a couple of days now and I'm not mad anymore..lols. Abe is a sweet man who really really loves me. It's just that he's going thru a hard time in life and has lack of rest that we have been really grouchy to each other. The good news is that since he started his job at Oreilly things has turned around a bit. We talk more when he comes home and we get the evening together as well as the night. He used to work 3rd shift at Ross and it was always me and baby at home at night. But these past few days has just been such a bliss!! I'm very thankful that God has shown me the way. He gave me signs and informed that no matter how hard it can get, no matter how frustrating it may be, the person I married is the right person for me. God IS really wonderful and amazing!! I love Abe and he loves me. With God, everything is beautiful!

make up and stuff...

I've been watching a new channel on Youtube.com and discovered a gal names Cynthia who is Chinese and is a model. I think she is gorgeous and has such a unique look. I just found her last night when I was searching for new videos to watch because I was bored. I watched some of her videos already and she is just terrific! I learned a lot of new things from her and found some new websites to buy cheap yet good makeup. Here is the link:

http://www.eyeslipsface.com/home

It's called E.L.F. for the initials and all. I sort of heard about this name brand awhile back, but never really took the initiative to go and look at it. So this morning I checked out the website and I' very surprised! The prices are VERY AFFORDABLE. I so want to get their make up brush set and try it out as well as their eyeshadows. Lols...there's a lot on there that I would love to get when I get the chance. And it you spend over $75 you get free shipping. Haha.. bet I can spend more than $100 on there since everything is so cheap and all.

I also discovered something new from Cynthia. The nail polish company called China Glaze. She mentioned about a top coat that dries up like intsantly. I always do my nails like at night before I go to bed because it takes awhile for my nails to dry. When I do them during the day, I'm always injuring my nail polish..so they end up with nicks and it looks all messy when it dries. Cynthia has the same situation and she said that with China Glaze's top coat, her nail polish dries like instantly. I so want to try it!! I can never find something like that. I checked out the website just now and I can't seem to find the prices and top coat. I found their variety of colors; which is amazing by the way, but just can't find what I am looking for. I'll keep searching and hopefully I'll get it soon!! :)

I can't wait til I get started on doing my make up kit. I have so many things to buy and it's going to take me AWHILE to get it all together, but when I do; I'm going to share it with everyone! I'm really thinking about making my own channel on Youtube. I told my little sister that I wanted a webcam for christmas and so I hope she does get me that..and a good one too! hehe. I'm excited and can't wait to share a little of my life with all of the world. Have a super duper happy day!!

Princess Diaries

I just finished watching Princess Diaries with Anne Hathaway. I haven't seen it in awhile and thought I watch it since there wasn't much to do. While watching it I pondered about if I was in her position. Like what would I do? Every girl's dream is to be a princess or have a fairy tale love. What do I have? What did I end with now? I have always dreamed of being a princess...living in a big castle with maids and a personal attendant. I have always dreamed of meeting that special someone who would sweep me off my feet with his kiss and making my feet pop up (like what Mia talked about in the movie).

I did meet my special guy who gave me a kiss that made my foot pop up. His kisses were amazing and left a mark on my mind lingering for him when he left my side. My heart would flutter with butterflies when I was next to him or when he would reach for my hand to hold. Life was perfect when I was with him. Well...I was just really happy/nervous/shy all at once when I was with him. But it's sad that we didn't end like a fairytale story. We didn't end up together because he was always too busy to make time for 'US'.

When I met my husband now, it was a different reaction...not the same. It wasn't all fluttery and magical like Him. I sometime still long for him, but then I understand that we will never be. I long to find another special person who will give me the fluttery magical moments again. Someone who will kiss me and walk away yet; I will linger for his return so I can kiss him again. I long to the princess I dream to be...

Will there ever be a chance again?

Kandee's blog on patience

Kandee Johnson is such a cool person! She has inspired me so much on life and what not. You guys can check her out at http://kandeethemakeupartist.blogspot.com/ . I love her blogs on here and especially her youtube videos. They are awesome!! She's such a great role model on life and stuff. I just read her blog about patience and I believe it is so true. There is a season for all things to happen. And when we rush for things to happen so quickly, we make mistakes. An example she gave was relationships. You want to be with that person so much that you rush into a marriage just to find out that it was the wrong thing to do. I think I'm that person right now. All my life, I have always wanted the warmth and attention from men. I couldn't be with my first love so when I met my husband later I wanted things to be perfect. I didn't want to lose him either and rushed in marriage (by culture only). And now I'm sitting her regretting the days that I shouldn't have done it. That I should have went home on that day instead of going home with him. We are so different in many ways now. We've grown to adapt to each other yet it's so complicating at times. He likes certain things and I like certain things. Our taste in things has differ in the past 4 years of our relationship. I have a goal in life that I want to reach someday and he doesn't know what to do anymore. He used to know what he want; now it's "I don't know". I don't know...maybe we aren't meant to be. Now that we have our baby daughter, it's even harder to leave him. But I still do anyways and of course I'm taking her with me. I'm going to give us maybe another year together to see how it goes. If things don't shape up, then I'm going to have to call it quits.

I did rush into things because of my selfish needs. I'm the only one to blame for. I want to start a new life. A life where I can be able to reflect and say things like; "wow, I did it!".

brrr...cold!!

I wake up this morning and gosh I didn't want to get out of bed, but my urge to hit on the net was more than I wanted. Lols. So here I am!! It's so COLD this morning...I slept with 3 blankets..haha..it was WARM! Baby Summer is still snoozing away...under the warm blankies. hehe. But then yeah, the heater doesn't work so we are stuck to the cold wilderness in this house. So sad.. ::( I don't know when the landlord is going to fix it and all.

Today is the first day my Abe's new job. His broke down Friday Night and so...we've been car-less for the past couple of days. He figured out why his car just suddenly just died on the road. It was because of his timing belt went bad. He bought a new one yesterday and fixed it, test drove the car and found out the car has no more power. He called some of his friends with experience explaining his situation and they told him that his Head went out. OMG! So now he has to look for a Head..which ranges from $70-$500. He found someone off of craigslist yesterday that was selling his Head...called the guy and offered $80! So we'll see if he can go get today or what not. Geesh..so many things going wrong. That's why I seriously need a job, but then again; can't go to work without a car. Sigh.

Well, today is nothing much for me...just going to stay home and chill with baby Summer. And hope that it warms up in here...lols.

4 years today!

Today marks 4 years since my husband has asked me out...and also 4 years since we've known each other. It's a cloudy, raining, cold day...and I'm not happy at all. Argh! My husband is so irritating I say...gosh! I really hate everything about him. The only that attaches me to him is he's a generous man with a kind heart...but besides that he's such an ass!!!!! I'm so tired of him...I wish I can just leave his ass. But my life sucks because I can't even find a damn job to support myself! Shit!!! I just want to break down and cry!! I want a damn solution to all of this. I want to leave him..I want to be happy..yet I want to reach my future goal and be successful!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!I so want to just scream my lungs out at him! When will he ever learn!!! F*ck!

:(

facebook games..

So I haven't been on facebook in a long time. The last time I logged in was back in July..haha. I'm always on myspace instead. Well, Facebook has these games called Farmville (where you farm and have animals), Fishville (where you raise fishes to sell to make your tank look good) and Cafe World (where you are the chef and run your own restaurant). I started playing all 3 games yesterday morning..and gosh! I'm hooked!! Lols...I'm on them right now...silly me. I love cafe world..hahhaa...and farmville, but takes forever for crops to grow..haha. Fishville is cool..I still play it cause my lil brother in law plays it. And he loves fishes!! I haven't played online games in awhile...and I think these games are pretty cool! The sad part is you can't earn cash, you only earn coins. You would have to use actual real money to buy the cash..which kinda sucks cause there are some cool stuff for sale, but it only accepts cash.

Well, I got an interview at Sprint in Hemet Mall yesterday afternoon. It went pretty quick and easy. I asked the guy if I was someone he would hire and he said yes. Just that he has 15 more interviews to do and his boss is the one that chooses the last say in it. He mentioned that he wanted someone to start like probably next week or in 2 weeks. The downfall to this job is that you'll get cussed at a lot by the customers. It's a part time position that pays only min. wage plus commission. I'm having second thoughts on this one..I might not take it if the guys calls me back, but maybe the Lord is saying this is the job for you? Hard to say. We'll see what happens and all. I need to go to the outlets and go apply there...goshies! But even if I get a job, how am I suppose to get to work when Abe starts his new job Monday. Hahaha...that's also the sucky part.

Anywho, we are going to be doing laundry today. Washing all of our clothes!!

looks cold this morning...

Woke up this morning at 6:50am...so early. This time change is really effecting me..hehe. I'm up by 7am in the morning ever since the time changed and so is my baby girl. This morning looks a bit cold..the sun comes out and the fades away..with a slight breeze...the trees are moving a bit. Lols. I am supposed to go job hunting today..but iono. I just don't have the urge to do it. I know I need a job and all. There's many things I can do if I have found a job. But since it's so hard to get a job and I have been searching and going to interviews with no calls in return. I feel as if even though I go out there...no one wants me. :( I don't know. Sigh.

I'll give it a shot today and I'll pray before I head out.

BARKWORKS!!

So we went to Tyler Galleria in Riverside today. We just went window shopping for ideas for Christmas gifts. There's a puppy store called Barkworks there and we always go to it when we are there. OMG!! They have the cutest pups there!! And they were having such a GOOD SALE!! If I had the money and not live with other ppl...I would have bought one!! My daughter who is only 7 months loves pets and she was jumping with joy when we were there. Gosh!! They had Yorkies, Shitzus, labradoodles, german shepard, maltese mixes, and so much more! SIgh...I so want one!! I have always wanted to have my own lil doggie!! I had one when I was younger but my parents took him away because they didn't want pets anymore. So sad...I say! I want to own a shitzu or a malitpoo...they are so adorable!! I so can't wait til I own one!!! :P

Anyways, I've been thinking about buying a home lately. I totally want to have my own place again. I really miss that. I really want to buy a home by the end of April of next year. But I don't know how..cause my credit is like really bad and so is my hubby. We kind of ruined our credit in the early years...stupid of us..but yeah. We haven't been able to pay anything off due to the lack of finances throughout the past couple of years. I know we can be able to save enough for the down paymet, but we won't qualify for a loan. I was thinking about asking my parents if they would cosign for us...but you know, you never know the answers to that. I'm not even sure if my husband's parents would do it too. Since Obama has extended the home buyer tax credit to April 30, 2010 I really want to take up the opportunity and buy a home. My price range is pretty decent...I'm looking to buy a home that is between $75,000 and $140,000. Nothing too extreme, just reasonable for our state of budget. Gosh, buying a home would be such an accomplishment! After buying a home, I can focus on my career...finish school and strive to open up my fashion retail store. I would be like super HAPPY! :D

money, money, money...

Money...everyone needs money in order to survive in this crucial world these days. Money is very important...it gets you from point A to point B smoothly. People with money have more buying power. But then again, money means greed. What if there was unlimited money to spend in this world...will we be more happier? Or will we all be still the same? If you think about it, in bank accounts ...it's just a number...If we were to just just our debit/credit cards only without cash...gosh, why not let the bank just refill our account all the time? Cause they wouldn't be giving out cash...so that would be more of a convenience.

Well, money is my problem at the moment of my life right now. I need money in order to get ahead in life. I need a job in order to have money to go to school, buy a house, pay off debts, and support my little family. Money is like my savior at the moment. Although GOD is my savior of everything. Money is needed much! If I had money, I would be able to do so much. I could go to school without worries and then be able to open up my very own fashion retail store. Sigh....gosh I so want that!!! There are things in life sometimes where it's so hard to grasp because there is no money.

Gosh if I were able to change one aspect of this world, I would change the money system. I would let everyone have unlimited money. Everything purchased would be debit/credit only. Banks would just refill when you get low. Cash will be limited. One person would only be allowed to take out a certain amount per month. Plus, cash wouldn't be so important to carry anymore...only just in case you forget your card at home. Everything would be purchased electronically. Then there will never be anymore poverty in this world anymore. Everyone would be a little bit more happier; although I don't promise cruel things will still be present. But yeah, I think ppl will get to do what they have always wanted and feel more accomplished in life. Oh and also there will be an age limit to those who will own a card...I'm thinking age 20 and up. I truly think 18 is not an age where ppl mature. People usually mature when they are in their 20's. So I would totally have an age limit!!

I'm stressin' cause I am having financial problems. This was just a thought that I was thinking about. It'll be pretty cool though!! hehe

2010 Wishlist....

Ok..so I have been going about on all the things that I WANT and NEED! There are so many things that I would like to own by the end of 2010. I actually made a list...lols. LOOK BELOW!

Owned by 2010:

- Pink, Black, White, Nude, purple, and 2 warm colors nail polish
- Ecotools or Sigma make up brush set
- 88 regular eye shadow palette from Coastalscent
- 88 shimmer eye shadow palette from Coastalscent
- 88 warm eye shadow palette from Coastalscent
- A good hydrating body lotion
- MAC Studio fix powder foundation
- MAC Studio fix bronzer
- A good liquid foundation
- A good face moisturizer with SPF
- Loreal's LASH BLAST mascara
- A new eye lash curler
- Low cut black socks
- Low cut white socks
- Long socks
- A new pair of casual tennis shoes
- Black flat boots or with a little heel
- Brown flat boots or with a little heel
- 2 new pairs of sandals
- 3 pairs of new jeans (skinny and boot cut)
- Fashionable leather jacket
- A nice black peacoat
- 4 new white tanks with lace
- Black tank tops (or colored)
- A new black button down sweater
- A new big purse
- A new wallet (pink or white)
- Black, white, gray cotton leggings
- Metallic leggings
- Necklace, bracelets, and earings!!!
- 2010 wall calendar
- 2010 planner
- Victoria's Secret's Velvet perfume
- A new blazer
- 2 new pairs of black pants (with zipper on the back or side)
- Make up primer
- 2 new bottles of hairspray (flexible and strong hold)
- A wooden round brush with good bristles
- A new comb
- An electric shaver
- A light blue or white comforter set (Queen size)
- 4 new firm pillows
- A make up brush cleaner
- Post it's
- 2 notebooks
- 5 dressy tops
- 8 gb mp3 player
- White dresser
- Black picture frames
- A camcorder
- 16 gb SD memory card
- A new Queen Size mattress
- Laundry baskets
- Sleepwear!!!
- A new car (SUV)

...and more to come!!

election and blah..

Drum ROLL!! The results are in!! The election at church this morning was long yet very interesting. A lot of the candidates that were nominated backed down and didn't want the position at all...which was very sad and disappointing. But anyways...hahha...I wasn't nominated for anything. My heart is actually set on being Sunday School director. I want to improve the children's education on God and learning how to pray. Because I don't see that at all in the past 3 years that I have been here. I'm not sure if I will be selected, but I would love to be it. I don't think anyone wants to take up the responsibility anyways...lols. Well, I'll just pray and hope that I get the position. I have so many thoughts already piling up...hahha...I'm already so excited even when I'm not the Director yet. Lols. Well, the next 2 years will be an exciting one and a good one!! (I hope)...lols.

Enough said, I really need a job. I really do...I really need to get ahead of other people and like you know...so people can see what I am capable of. I know that people see me as a lazy person who doesn't want to do anything..or a person who says something, but doesn't get their butt up and actually doing it. I plan on changing that!! I want people to respect me and see that I can do things....I'm just not in the position to do it because I have no car to get anywhere and always have to depend on my lazy retarded husband...lols. Anyways, I plan to go apply for seasonal positions at the Outlet tomorrow...I'll need all the prayers I can get...I want to be able to work asap! And then Tuesday I'm thinking about heading out of town and apply at temp agencies and see what they can help me with. Wednesday I need to head over to Social Services and fill out my quarterly report. Thursday I'll just do laundry and take a day off...the Friday call Art Institute for more information on attending there next year in the Spring. Good luck to me this week and I just really hope for the best!!

Sunday church election...

So today is Sunday, November the 7th!! It's that time of the year again...election DAY at church! I currently hold the secretarial position for the women's dept. and my hubby is president for the men's dept. I'm up early because I wanted to write this blog as well as make myself look extra good today (don't know how I'm gonna do that, but I'll try anyways...lols). I can't wait to see who will be leaders next as well as nervous if I get nominated..which I don't think...but there's a possibility. I just hope today will be filled with laughters and hugs and all that warm fuzzy stuff!! :) We missed the election 2 years ago because my hubby was having a high fever/flu...so we couldn't make it, but was given the office positions afterwards. So it's my first time joining on such an event. YAY!!

Anyways...I'll be back on here later tonight to spill the beans and yeah!

It's daylight savings TIME!! Fall back an HOUR!! Yet I wake up at 7am...hahahha. Everyone is sleeping in while I am awake. My tummy hurts, there's a lot on my mind, and I don't want to go to church this morning. Sigh...I've been thinking so much.

What I have been thinking about? I've been thinking about why the Lord gave me my hubby. Why him? I don't even know if he will perfect my life...he doesn't even want to better himself in his career anymore...he has no motivation. He's so lazy at times. He doesn't pick up after himself. He's slow..doesn't get/or doesn't know what to do when it comes to cleaning. He's stubborn! He just doesn't get it. He won't even wake up at 8am or 9am...he keeps saying he's tired...yet I'm the one who wakes up at night to feed Baby. When she wakes up...I'm usually up already. So irritating!! The list can go on..but I prefer not listing them...too much.

I still can't figure it out.